What Do You Imagine?

Dear Old Self,

It started with a pen and paper. I just wanted out and I knew that there was so much more for me, if only I could figure it out. So I decided to write it out. The words I expressed in my head, did not come out right. So I wrote..... &

Here is what it said.....

What do you imagine?

I imagine my life in abundance, living out every dream that is deep in my heart. That I have healthy relationships, significant other, and friendships. I want to leave something for my generations that are after me. Teach those that when life gets tough you keep on going. I image me as happy, healthy, wealthy, and strong. I image my close relationships as happy, healthy, wealthy, and strong. I image that all of these are possible if I just believe...

It all started with a pen and paper...when I wrote out what I imagined which was my heart's deepest desires, I began to see them come true....

On that day I decided to start with that pen and paper and make those things reality, by choosing to believe in all of me....

I learned that my imagination is my image of what my heart desired. So I changed my image of me. I remembered NOT who I was, but WHO I AM.

As I flew, the wind caught me and lifted me higher

Dear Old Self, I had so much waiting on me and so much to do, that is why I broke up with you....

Love,
A Diamond with Wings

Negative Words

Negative Words

Dear Old Self,


You use to say, "sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME!" and then you would snap your fingers because you showed them something. Right?

But I remember when he called me out my name, you know that kind of hurt the first time. Then he did it again and it also hurt the second time. Then it was so often that I became numb to it.

Then I noticed one day I was changing. I let people say whatever they wanted. Then I started saying it to myself. When I messed up on that project I couldn't even catch it I said "you're so STUPID, you are NOT CAPABLE, NOT WORTHY, NOT DESERVING, can't get ANYTHING RIGHT,........" and all the time these NEGATIVE words became a part of my lovely language I use to have.

I started to realize that WORDS PLANT SEEDS. That what I said created situations for me. Good and BAD ones.

I couldn't understand why so many things were going on and going the opposite of what I was hoping for.

Then one day, its funny how it takes only ONE DAY, I heard that LIFE and DEATH lies in the power of my own words.

Then I saw why when I said I was NOT DESERVING I DID NOT GET  WHAT I HOPED FOR!

THEN I saw why when I SAID I was not WORTHY, I ended in UNHEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

Then I saw WHY when I SAID I COULDN'T, I didn't.......

I was ashamed....

You told me it was NO BIG DEAL, I hoped for it and that was all necessary, what can words change.

You were right it was not a BIG DEAL that I HOPED for change, but the people around me were SAYING the opposite of what I was HOPING for and I started to SAY the SAME WORDS.

Just like a planting of an APPLE seed bears an APPLE, the same way NEGATIVE WORDS are SEEDS and bear the fruit that it is... NEGATIVITY.

AND that is WHY we BROKE UP........

it took only ONE DAY......AND ONE DAY she flew.........

.......when she let go of negative words, and people who spoke them.


Love,
A Diamond With Wings

Being an Entrepreneur

Being an Entrepreneur

Dear Old Self,

The day I was laid off from that job, I immediately started looking for another one. How is it that I was going to survive? You know nothing in this world is free. I have people relying on me to be successful, so I had to put on my big girl panties and find work immediately.

Although (sigh) I really hated what I was doing. But the plans I had in front of me, kept me going. Until i realized that it was breaking something in the inside of me that I was not listening to.

 I remember you told me "It will be all over soon, keep thinking, keeping looking on the internet, keep getting creative, it won't be long."

The only thing wrong with that, is I was too afraid to follow my gut feeling that it was time to step out and leave that environment. I was afraid of what I would lose and what I wouldn't gain.

Then one day I said (the new self), I felt my voice getting strength "what other risk is it that I can take that I have not already done in not following my inner knowing that I should be doing something ELSE."

On that night, yes after tons of tears and reasons why not to, I broke up with you because you were keeping me in fear. I wanted to be my own boss because I had so much to offer.

Now when I get up every morning, its not FEAR that I WON'T make MONEY or be SUCCESSFUL. It's that I wouldn't do what God wants me to do and somebody losses because they're waiting on me.

I realized I actually had purpose and destiny and that longing in the inside was God pushing me telling me it was time to make a change . It was time to step into something new. The longer I ignored it, listening to you, the more I think I would have died not knowing my purpose.

and that is why we broke up.......

....and one day she flew because she had to follow what was tugging on her in the inside.

Love,
A Diamond With Wings

When did I get my wings

When Did I Get My Wings?

Dear Old Self,

Thoughts are wings. I always had wings, but they were heavy wings. Regardless of how hard I flapped them up and down, up and down, I was exhausted. I almost think that if I flapped harder and harder to get them to fly, it may have beat the wind out of me. I flapped them, but they didn't move. I wasn't sure why. Thoughts are wings, right?

So I decided to change my thoughts. Instead of thinking I was not capable, I was not worthy, I was not a winner, I was not winning, I was not happy, every thought I had was not a good thought. I decided to change my thoughts.

Although LIFE was happening around me, I was not what LIFE defined me of. I had to fight for life. Life to be free. So I thought, I am worthy, I am a winner, I am happy, I am successful, I am humble, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am strong, I am a champion, I defy the odds, I set new standards,

It was time for me to step up. Then do you remember that one day, I flapped my wings up and down and I felt that cool breeze beneath my feet. I looked down and I was lifted up. Then I flapped higher, then I spoke out loud what I was thinking in my mind. Then I flew higher, and higher, and higher. Then I flew........

when I looked down, I was flying above my haters, bad situations, unhealthy friendships, bad relationships, nay sayers, negativity,

When I looked down it made me sad and I felt  me get back closer to the ground, I lifted my head up and I looked ahead and I went higher again

The bird of strength flew next to me, then prosperity, then wealth, then good health, then great friends. All of these different birds with different things added to me. Then I flew higher.....

Never knowing how low I was before...............

And one day she flew...........

And that is why we broke up............

Love,
A Diamond With Wings,

Sometimes you have be reminded of who you are

Sometimes you have be reminded of who you are

Dear Old Self,

The other day I wrote on a piece of paper that I wanted freedom and more out of life. I remember thinking that day that I made so many mistakes I would not be capable of doing those things. It was like I was paying for every mistake that I made in my life and I might a well just lay down and take the way theses situations are. My money didn't grow. Actually I think another bill came through that day, that I did not have enough to take care of it. Then the relationship was terrible. We were fighting day in and day out. I prayed a whole lot, but it seemed like it got worse and worse. I was too embarrassed to share what was going on. I was not happy. I just wanted to be free of all of it.

One day as I was at a stop light, I saw a bird fly across the sky. I remember saying "If only I can just fly away freely like that bird." Well Old Self, I remembered a saying that I heard a long time ago, that if God took care of the fowl of the air, what little is it for me to think of myself that He would not take care of me?

I was reminded who I was. I did not have to be bound like a bird in a cage to unhappiness, financial struggles, past mistakes. I was free, I just did not open the lock to the cage and step out. So I thought new thoughts because as a man thinketh so is he. I started saying out loud, "I AM FREE," "MY MONEY IS FREE," "MY MIND IS FREE," I AM NOT AFRAID OF WHAT IS AHEAD." I started believing it.

Now, don't get to arrogant Old Self, there were times you tried to convince me to stay where I was and that I may fall, because I did not know how to fly. But I hope you remember that I reminded you that I knew that I fell before in my past and got back up, but there is no guarantee that if I stayed here, I will even get up. It was just too deep.

I was reminded of who I am........


and that is why we broke up......


Love,
A Diamond with Wings

A Letter to Old Self

She wrote a letter to her old self and it started like this:

Dear Old Self,
When it brought me so low, to a point where I had no hope. I had no clue why it all happened. I now know it taught me how to FLY so very high. Before it became a diamond it was placed in indescribable HOT temperatures. Now I know my thoughts create WINGS. So I changed them. Now I am a diamond with wings. AND one day she flew..................


Love,
A Diamond With Wings 

People Will Keep You Bound

People Will Keep You Bound:

Dear Old Self,

I remember like it was yesterday that fight me and her had. We said some of the most hurtful things. I am not sure if it was a misunderstanding or if actually I had done something wrong. I truly wanted the best for her and our friendship. But there was always something deep inside of me that let me know that she was not happy. I saw that day coming. It was like I was living a dream I had.

I never knew 2 friends that had known each other for years, could say the meanest things in the world.  Old Self, that was a fight. We made up and after a few months maybe even years of not talking I wanted to see how she was doing.

Well, I hoped for it to go well and it didn't. Old self, you know me, this time I would've called her all types of names, dug deep and went low to be sure she felt the hurt that I felt as she betrayed my trust, loyalty, and friendship.

This day I turned the other cheek and I said good bye to a dead friendship that was hurting me in my soul. People CANNOT give you what they don't have.

There was always unrest in our friendship, but when I needed someone to talk to about those bad situations, I called her. I did not know then, that real friends are there through the good and the bad. I can share the deepest secrets good and bad with that friend at anytime. This was not the case with her.

Instead of doing the old things I would do, that I thought was protecting me, I decided to just say good bye and wish her well.

I remember when I did that, she was confused. Confused that I did not give the reaction that I would have given before, confused that I did not cuss her out, confused, that I did not have anything evil to say, she was confused and I thought I was too at first.......

Then I knew that I grew up, That is why I had to break up with you......because the Old Self would have condoned me doing all of these things.

It really was just making me unhappy and tearing me down...... Since I was flying now, I couldn't be subjected to go back to where I was before....

We had to break up so I could be free of unhealthy friendships that did not want to see me be better, that only liked me when it was conducive to them, that only took and never gave.........

And that's why we broke up..........New friendship were waiting and there was no room for them because the toxins were there.

And one day she flew........

Love,
A Diamond With Wings