Dear Old Self,
The day I was laid off from that job, I immediately started looking for another one. How is it that I was going to survive? You know nothing in this world is free. I have people relying on me to be successful, so I had to put on my big girl panties and find work immediately.
Although (sigh) I really hated what I was doing. But the plans I had in front of me, kept me going. Until i realized that it was breaking something in the inside of me that I was not listening to.
I remember you told me "It will be all over soon, keep thinking, keeping looking on the internet, keep getting creative, it won't be long."
The only thing wrong with that, is I was too afraid to follow my gut feeling that it was time to step out and leave that environment. I was afraid of what I would lose and what I wouldn't gain.
Then one day I said (the new self), I felt my voice getting strength "what other risk is it that I can take that I have not already done in not following my inner knowing that I should be doing something ELSE."
On that night, yes after tons of tears and reasons why not to, I broke up with you because you were keeping me in fear. I wanted to be my own boss because I had so much to offer.
Now when I get up every morning, its not FEAR that I WON'T make MONEY or be SUCCESSFUL. It's that I wouldn't do what God wants me to do and somebody losses because they're waiting on me.
I realized I actually had purpose and destiny and that longing in the inside was God pushing me telling me it was time to make a change . It was time to step into something new. The longer I ignored it, listening to you, the more I think I would have died not knowing my purpose.
and that is why we broke up.......
....and one day she flew because she had to follow what was tugging on her in the inside.
Love,
A Diamond With Wings
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